


I'll carry you home

by dannybsdadbod



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Concussions, Head Injury, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, just some soft boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-07-29 10:16:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16262147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dannybsdadbod/pseuds/dannybsdadbod
Summary: Of course this happened to him. He’s “injury prone” or whatever the media always calls him. He can’t even check and see what the media is saying this time, because he isn’t allowed to look at his fucking phone because of the light. Because he has a fucking concussion. God, he’s so mad. This was his year. The first time he was finally free of injury and ailments. He was finally going to be able to show Philly who they drafted. He was finally going to be able to show everyone who he was.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! 
> 
> It is not confirmed that Nolan has a concussion, I've just made an assumption for the sake of this story. 
> 
> General frustration, but no anger/yelling/etc. 
> 
> This does not mention any specifics of the head injury, just general pain and symptoms of a concussion.
> 
> This has not been beta-ed/edited, sorry for any mistakes

Nolan’s so mad. So upset. 

Of course this happened to him. He’s “injury prone” or whatever the media always calls him. He can’t even check and see what the media is saying this time, because he isn’t allowed to look at his fucking phone because of the light. Because he has a fucking concussion. God, he’s so mad. This was his year. The first time he was finally free of injury and ailments. He was finally going to be able to show Philly who they drafted. He was finally going to be able to show everyone who he was.

 

He rolls his sweatshirt up and places it between his head and the bus window. Maybe he can sleep before the team boards. Considering he can’t wear headphones, he’s hoping they’ll all be too tired from the back to back and not be chatty.

 

“Hey,” Travis sits next to him on the bus. “Didn’t know if you’d be on the bus.”

Nolan shrugs, “I’m here.” 

“I see that.”

 

Travis puts a hand on Nolan’s thigh and rubs his thumb in small circles.

 

“I’m fine, Travis.” 

“You’re not, though,” Travis says all small, voice barely there. 

Nolan has his head still resting against the window. He sighs. “What do you want me to say?” 

“I don’t know,” Travis admits. “But I don’t want you to lie to me…”

 

Nolan sits up to look at Travis, a little too fast. His vision gets blurred and he feels like he’s going to fall over, even though he’s sitting down.

 

“Woah, careful,” Travis brings his arms up instinctively to help Nolan. He puts a hand on Nolan’s shoulder and has one hovering close to Nolan's head.

When Nolan comes back to himself, he opens his eyes and sees Travis completely covered in worry.

 

“Nolan,” he lays the hand that was hovering in the air gently onto Nolan’s cheek. “I know you’re mad, I know you’re upset. But don’t think that you have to deal with this alone. You don’t have to force yourself to be strong and pretend it’s not a big deal. No ones gonna think less of you just because you got hurt tonight."

Travis sighs after speaking like he’s been holding that in since Nolan went down.

 

“I’m so…” Nolan closes his eyes and shakes his head slightly. “I’m so fucking mad, Trav.”

“I know,” Travis mumbles. “I’m mad, too.”

“This was supposed to be my year!” Nolan says a little too loud. He’s thankful the team hasn’t boarded yet. “This was supposed to be my year,” he repeats, whispering. 

“Oh Nol,” Travis’ thumb swipes across Nolan’s face at a tear. “I know, Nolan. I know. It’s fucked up and it’s not fair.”

“It isn’t,” Nolan knows he’s whining, but he doesn’t care. He isn’t supposed to be in this position. He was supposed to be okay this year.

“Come here,” Travis guides Nolan into his arms. “I’ve got you, Nol. Okay? Just let me take care of you. Let me take your anger and frustrations.”

“You have enough of those,” Nolan mumbles. 

Travis chuckles, “Wow, okay, rude.”

Nolan smiles to himself, pleased.

 

Travis starts to gently play with Nolan’s hair, careful not to tug too hard or put too much pressure. He moves his hands down to his neck and shoulders, scratching and rubbing gently there.

“I’ve got you.”

Nolan lets himself drift off and just be held by Travis.

Nolan isn’t sure when they get back to the hotel if he’s honest he isn’t sure when the bus even started moving.

“Hi babe,” Travis smiles at him softly as he sits up. “Careful.”

Nolan makes a noise of acknowledgment and slowly gets his spine upright. 

“Come on, I’ll help you to the room.”

Nolan takes Travis’ hand tightly in his own, feeling more off balance now than earlier.

“I’ve got you,” Travis slips an arm around Nolan’s torso. “Won’t let you fall.”

 

Claude is waiting at the exit of the bus, just in case. Travis smiles gratefully at him, Claude nods.

 

“Nol? Hey, take my hand,” Claude reaches up and helps Travis get Nolan down the steps of the bus.

Nolan’s wobbly, like he could tip over if a slight breeze were to hit him. He grips Claude and Travis right, not wanting to let go of either of them. He feels too off-kilter.

As soon as they step into the hotel lobby, Nolan winces and squeezes his eyes shut.

“Too bright,” he mumbles. “Fuck, too bright.” 

“I know, baby. Just keep walking, let us lead you. Gonna get you upstairs, okay?”

“So bright,” he mumbles. 

“Shh, I know baby, I’m so sorry.”

He trips over his own feet. “Fuck,” Nolan curses, gripping wildly for Claude and Travis. Their arms are already around him, but he feels like he’s floating.

“I’m right here,” Travis puts his free hand into Nolan’s hand. “I’m right here, baby. The elevators gonna hurt a bit. Claude was able to get us a room on a lower floor, though.”

“Mmm. Thanks, Clo,” Nolan mumbles, eyes still shut. 

Claude smirks, rubbing Nolan’s back where his hand is, “Of course, kiddo.

 

Claude walks with them to their room. 

“My rooms on your floor too. Just in case,” Claude says. 

“I’m fine,” Nolan whines. 

“You can’t even open your eyes, baby,” Travis’ voice is small and laced with worry. “This isn’t your first concussion and—“

“I’m worried.” Claude cuts him off. “Danny had a few concussions in his time, some worse than others. I like to be safe than sorry with head injuries. Okay? I don’t think you’re weak, I’m not trying to allude to anything like that. I’m just worried, that simple.”

“Oh.”

“This one’s ours, hold on,” Travis gets the key in and shuts the light off before opening the door all the way.

 

Nolan lets them lead him into the room, but he feels more comfortable keeping his eyes open now. There’s no light, except for a table lamp. It’s just enough to see, and not enough to hurt.

 

“Thank you, Claude,” Travis smiles gently. “I really appreciate it.”

Claude smiles softly, going to the mini fridge and getting a water out.

“Here,” He hands it to Nolan, already opened. “Drink it slowly. Small sips.”

Nolan takes it and does as he’s asked, keeping his attention to Travis and Claude’s conversation.

“It’s not a big deal, kid. I’m honestly a little worried, myself. The first 24 hours were always messy with Danny. He’d be fine one minute and in horrible pain the next. I just wanna make sure he’s alright.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” Travis’ voice is low. 

Claude shrugs, “It comes with the territory, I guess.”

“Still.”

“Just, call me if either of you need anything. Okay?” 

Travis nods. “Thank you.” 

“The trainer gave him pain meds already. If he wakes in the middle of the night needing meds, he can only take them after 3 am.” 

Travis nods, taking a deep breath. 

“Are you okay?” 

Travis shrugs, a tear falling. 

“Hey,” Claude hugs Travis. “Nolan’s fine, Trav.”

“I know,” Travis rubs his fists at his eyes. “I know. This is just… already so different than last time…”

“Head injuries are scary. And not all of them present themselves in the same way. Just cause this time is different doesn’t mean it’s inherently worse.” 

Travis nods, swallowing. “Yeah, yeah. You’re right.”

“I’m always right,” Claude winks.

 

Claude goes back to Nolan, who’s still holding the half-drunk water bottle in his one hand. He’s sitting against the pillows with his knees up, his eyes against the backboard and closed.

“You did good on this, kid,” Claude takes the bottle from his head. “I’m gonna put it on your nightstand.” 

Nolan grunts in acknowledgment. 

“Alright, you both get some sleep. I’ll be next door if you need me.”

 

When Claude leaves, Nolan opens his eyes again, looking for Travis. He doesn’t see him right away, so he gets up, bracing himself against the wall with his hand.

He walks slowly, taking deep breaths through his nose, just focusing on keeping himself upright.

 

Nolan finally finds Travis at the sink in the bathroom brushing his teeth. As soon as he sees Nolan, though, Travis drops his toothbrush.

“Nolan,” He’s at his side instantly. “Baby, hey, why are you up?” Travis brushes his hair to the side, tucking it behind his ear.

“I missed you,” Nolan pouts. 

Travis can’t help but giggle a little. “Oh, Nols. Okay, come on. I’ll get in bed with you.”

Nolan smiles so big, clearly pleased with himself. Travis rolls his eyes because honestly, this boy was going to be the death of him.

 

Travis keeps murmuring words like “careful” and “slowly” as they walk to the bed. But honestly, this is way easier than it was when Nolan made the trek himself. Well, himself and the wall.

Travis lays Nolan down gently, making sure his head is comfortable before he goes to his side of the bed. He takes his own shirt off and slips out of his sweats before getting into bed with Nolan.

 

As soon as Travis is there, Nolan gravitates to his side.

“Oh, Nol,” Travis caresses his head gently where Nolan’s leaned against his shoulder. 

Nolan’s shoulders start to shake, he buries his face deeper in Travis. 

“Let it out, baby. You’re okay, I promise.”

Nolan can’t control the small sobs and whines that come out of him. He’s gasping for breath in between sobs, holding to Travis as tightly as he can.

“Breathe, baby. Breathe. I’ve got you. I’m right here.”

Nolan takes a shaky breath in before coughing out another sob.

“It hurts,” He mumbles after a few minutes. 

“I know it hurts, baby. I’m so sorry.” Travis starts to play with the tips of Nolan’s hair. Light enough where he can feel it, but he can’t feel it too much.

Nolan doesn’t move his face away from Travis’s neck. Travis doesn’t make him move.

“Why did this happened to me?” 

Travis closes his eyes and tightens the arm he has around Nolan. “I don’t know, baby. I don’t know.”

“It’s not fair,” Nolan mumbles. “Why me?! I just got healthy!” 

Travis rubs Nolan’s back, “It’s really not fair.”

 

All of the sudden, Nolan’s exhausted. A small whine escapes his throat when he tries to move too fast.

 

“Hey, careful. What do you need?” Travis kisses his head. 

“Wanna get comfy.”

“Okay, babe. How can I help?”

Nolan sits back a little, Travis doesn’t move his hand though. Just in case.

“Maybe…” Nolan moves a pillow so it’s supporting his head, and lays himself so he’s tucked into Travis’ chest.

“You good?” 

Nolan hums. “You?” 

“I’m good, baby.”

“I love you, Travie,” Nolan mumbles and kisses Travis’ chest. 

“I love you too, Nol. You’re going to be okay. We’re gonna get through this.”

 

Nolan lets himself fall asleep, the exhaustion beating the pain.

 

Travis only lets himself fall asleep once he’s positive Nolan’s fallen asleep. He sends a quick text to Claude to make sure he knows everything is okay in their room. He clicks his phone off and holds Nolan as close as he can. He never wants to see Nolan hurt like this. He’d do anything to take this away from him.

Travis presses a kiss to the top of Nolan’s head and dozes off.

  
  



	2. nothing goes as planned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Travis blames himself for getting too comfortable. Nolan’s gotten over the 24-hour hump Claude was talking about, he let his guard down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was kind of a lot. I took all of the symptoms Nolan felt from my own experiences with one of the concussions I’ve had.
> 
> The symptoms Nolan deals with is very similar to a stroke: slurred speech, inability to remember words, half his body going tingly/numb, etc.

Travis blames himself for getting too comfortable. Nolan’s gotten over the 24-hour hump Claude was talking about, he let his guard down. 

 

When he hears a faint, “Travis?” from the bathroom, his heart sinks. He can tell something’s off. Nolan’s voice isn’t all there, it sounds… different. 

 

“Nolan?” Travis opens the bathroom door and sees Nolan sitting on the floor of their shower. 

“Nolan,” He turns the water off and steps in, “Hey, Nols, what happened? Did you fall?” 

Nolan looks at Travis, but his eyes are blank. “No.”

“Okay,” Travis says slowly, lifting a hand to Nolan’s cheek. “What happened?” 

“Uh… Can’t um…” Nolan’s struggling to get words out. “Feel… Body feels asleep.” 

“What?” Travis breathes. 

“Body feels… static. Uh… numb.”

“Okay, uh, okay, let me help you up,” Travis is doing his best to keep his composure and lift Nolan from under his arms before helping him to the bedroom. “Gonna get you dressed. Then we’ll go from there, okay?”

Nolan blinks a little, opening and closing his mouth before he points to it. “Feels strange.”

“What does baby?” 

Nolan looks lost, scared. He points to his mouth again, “This!” 

“Your mouth?” 

Nolan nods. 

“Okay, you’re gonna be okay, yeah? Let me…” Travis calls Claude and puts him on speaker so he can talk while he gets him dressed. 

 

Claude picks up on the second ring. “Hello?”

“Claude? Nolan’s… Nolan’s not doing well.”

“What’s going on?” His voice sounds closer, more serious. 

Travis helps slip Nolan’s sweatshirt on. Nolan can get his right arm in, but it’s like he’s lost control of his left arm. He tries to move it, making a pained noise when it won’t work. 

“Shh, hey, it’s okay, Nol. Let me,” Travis reaches and helps slip Nolan’s arm through the sleeve. “Claude? Sorry. Uh. He can’t… he said his body is like asleep? Like, it’s numb? And he can’t talk very well… Like, he can’t remember words…” Travis’ voice is shaking and no matter how hard he wills it to stop, it won’t. 

“Get him into the car and down to Penn, now. I’ll meet you there.”

“Claude,” Travis stops him. “What’s happening?” 

“I–I don’t know. Just, get him there. I’ll call them and let them know you’re on your way.”

Travis nods and hangs up. He smiles at Nolan and kisses his forehead. 

“Hi baby.” 

“Tra-is,” Nolan mumbles. 

Travis sniffles, blinking back tears, “You’re gonna be okay, baby. You’re gonna be okay.” Travis brings Nolan into a hug and holds him for a second. He knows he needs to get him to Penn, but he needs this. They both just. Need a minute to breathe. 

 

When Travis pulls away, Nolan’s face has gone slack on his left side. 

Fuck fuck fuck. 

“Nolan? We’re gonna go to the car now, okay?” 

Nolan swallows. “O–o–” The word won’t come. He settles on, “yeah.”

“Yeah,” Travis repeats. “Yeah, alright. Come on.”

 

Travis helps Nolan up, not totally prepared for the way he almost falls into Travis’ side. 

“Sorry,” Nolan mumbles. His body is almost completely slack against Travis. 

“You’re okay. Can you feel anything, baby?”

“Feel… leg.” Nolan points down at his right leg. 

“Good, baby. That’s good.” 

 

Travis starts to lead them through their apartment complex and into the parking garage. He’s talking to fill the space as if maybe that will make everything slow down and Nolan’s head magically get better. 

 

Travis helps Nolan into the car before getting into his side. 

Nolan uses his right arm to tug his hood up. He gets frustrated when it won’t work, giving up with it half on his head. He leans his head onto the window and closes his eyes. 

 

“Nolan? Hey,” Travis reaches over and puts a hand on Nolan’s thigh. “Nolan, gotta stay awake, bud.”

“Mmm.” 

Travis curses under his breath. “No, Nolan. You  _ have _ to. We’re almost there, I promise. Then you can sleep. But you just gotta stay with me for now.”

 

Travis double parks outside of the hospital so he can help Nolan in as fast as he can. Once he gets Nolan checked in, then he can move the car and it’ll be fine. But he knows Nolan won’t be able to get in on his own. 

 

“Hi,” Travis says, breathlessly. “Hi, uh. Can he… get a wheelchair?” 

“Of course,” The nurse gets up and gets a wheelchair from behind the counter. “What’s going on?” 

“Head injury.” Travis slowly lowers Nolan into the chair, ignoring his slurred protests about having to sit in a wheelchair. “Claude Giroux called I–I think. He got hurt. Concussion. A day and a half ago? Ish? He can’t talk, he’s just. Slurring his words. And he can barely walk on his own.”

“Sleepy,” Nolan mumbles from the wheelchair. Travis puts his hand in Nolan’s good hand and kisses his forehead. Fuck whoever sees right now. He’s fucking terrified. 

 

“What is his name and date of birth?” 

“Nolan Patrick. Uh… Nols, fuck. I should know this.”

“Sssss- mem-- smem,” Nolan tries, looking scared that he can’t form the word. 

“September! 19, duh. You wear 19. 1998.” 

“Thank you,” The nurse types something into the computer. 

“Is he going to be okay?”

The nurse smiles at Travis, “A nurse is going to take him back and run some tests.”

 

Nolan looks up at Travis, way more awake than before. 

“No!” 

“Hey,” Travis squeezes his hand. “It’s okay. They’re gonna help you. I’ll be back there as soon as I can be, I promise.”

Nolan looks at Travis, trying to speak, but not able to find words. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes and tries to squeeze Travis’ hand back. 

“It’s okay,” Travis whispers, pressing a kiss to Nolan’s temple. “You’re gonna be fine. I’m just gonna move the car, and you’ll get some scan done, and then I’ll be back with you before you know it. Okay?” 

Nolan looks at him, tears springing to his eyes. He takes a breath. “‘Kay.” 

Travis smiles and kisses his head one last time before a nurse takes Nolan back. As soon as he’s out of sight, Travis collapses into himself. He starts crying, holding a hand to his chest to steady his breathing. 

He bends over, leaning his back against the wall, and lets himself sink to the floor. He knows he needs to move his car, he knows he should find out how long Nolan’s tests are going to take, but all he can do is cry. He’s fucking terrified. Nolan could barely  _ speak _ . 

 

When he feels a hand on his shoulder, he wipes his face and sniffles, trying to gain composure. 

“Right, sorry, I’ll go move my car.” 

“You’re alright, bud,” Claude sits down next to him. “Let’s get you to a real chair, and then I’ll go move your car for you.”

Travis nods and hands him his keys with a shaky hand. Claude takes the keys and then Travis’ hand, helping him up.

 

He sits Travis down and smiles small at him. “Okay Teeks, I’ll be right back.”

 

Travis isn’t sure how much time passes, he has his eyes shut and his mind wanders on all of the possibilities of what could be going on right now. Of how scared Nolan must be...

 

“Hey,” Claude announces himself before he puts a hand on Travis’ arm. 

“Thank you, G,” he shakes his head, trying to clear it. “Is there an update on Nolan?” 

“Nurse told me they took him to get an MRI, once they got his vitals stable.”

“What… What was that, Claude?” Travis’ voice is shaky. 

Claude puts an arm around Travis, “I don’t know. It sounded like stroke symptoms to me, and that’s what the nurse said on the phone.”

Travis feels like the breath was punched out of him. “A stroke?!” 

“I know. But he had a CT, which came back fine. Which is why they’re doing an MRI.”

Travis’ hands are shaking and he’s crying again. “I gotta… I gotta be with him. He can’t be alone right now, Clo. He was so fucking scared.”

“He’s in an MRI, buddy. You can’t be with him, even if you wanted to.” 

Travis nods, pulling his knees to his chest. 

“Right now he just needs a little more support. He’ll be okay again soon, buddy”

“He’s always okay, he always is. I’m just worried it’ll take him too long and he’ll get frustrated about it…”

“It may take a while this time. Those symptoms... it’s gonna take him longer. He’s gonna really need you.”

 

They get moved back to the waiting room near the neuro-wing, waiting for Nolan to go through tests and whatnot. Claude gets Travis curled up in a sweatshirt to get him comfy. He pulls Travis into his side and holds him.

“It’s gonna be okay, buddy. Danny’s gonna stop by with Wawa. Do you want anything?” 

“Want Nolan to be okay,” Travis mumbles, moving his head into Claude’s lap. 

Claude rubs his back, “I’ll tell him to get you coffee.”

“Columbia roast. With French vanilla.”

“I know, buddy.”

 

Travis passes in and out of consciousness for a little bit.

 

“Hi cher, hi Trav. I brought you guys coffee. How is he?” 

Travis mumbles thanks and takes the coffee. “Dunno. Haven’t seen him yet.”

“You’ll see him whenever he can deal with being awake. It’s actually better for both of you if you don’t have to experience seeing him at his worse... I know seeing Claude hurt killed me every time.” 

Claude squeezes Danny’s hand. “You act as if you were in that position more than I was,” he says all small. 

“I just wanna be with him. Even if he’s asleep. I just wanna /see him/!” Travis is tearing up. “I promised him I’d come back as soon as I could.”

Danny smiles back at Claude very softly and then looks at Travis again, “and you will Trav, you’ll be there with him as soon as you can, whenever you’re allowed to be back 

“I just. I need to be there with him!” he closes his eyes and rests his head back against the wall and takes some deep breaths. “I just... I’m so scared. I need to see him.”

“Okay come here, you’re now about to receive one of my Dad Hugs because you need one.“

“There’s no resisting the hug, Travie,” Claude chuckles when Travis opens his mouth to protest. 

Travis does resist at first but gives in easily. He wraps his arms tight around Danny and just breathes. Soon enough, he’s crying. He’s so scared and so helpless. Nolan’s laying in a bed in a hospital alone and Travis should be there.

 

“There you go, that’s okay, let it out. We got you, okay? Nolan’s gonna be okay and so will you”

Travis mumbles a bunch of random stuff. “Symptoms of a stroke” and “loud” and “worried” and “ _ Nolan _ .”

“I know Trav. But it was just symptoms. It was a fall alarm,” Danny holds him close to his chest, petting his hand through his hair. “Everything will be loud for him now. I couldn’t even sleep next to Claude the last time one of us had to suffer through a concussion.

He sniffles and steps back, trying to compose himself. “What if he isn’t okay?”

“He’ll be okay Travie, I had something like that happen to me and I was fine”

“But he—“ Travis slumps against the wall and pulls his knees close to his chest. “Whatever.”

“It’s okay to be stressed and afraid Trav, god knows I was a mess when Claude kept mumbling nonsense when he actually meant to be talking, but he’ll be okay” 

“This wasn’t just nonsense!” He explodes because he’s mad. And scared. And he just has to do  _ something.  _ “He couldn’t remember words! He was pointing at things, scared and mumbling because he couldn’t remember what it was called!” 

 

“Okay okay, calm the fuck down Trav, you’re just gonna make yourself sick if you don’t,” Claude puts his hands on Travis’ arms.  

“Fuck off,” he tries to shake Claude off. He’s angry and scared, and just wants to pick a fight at this point. 

“Not gonna fight with you Trav. Let it out if you need, but we’re not gonna let you go at it and drive yourself mad.” 

“What’re you gonna do stop it?” He crowds into Claude’s space.

“Nothing, you little punk. Sit down, stop being a little shit and calm down.”

“Make me,” Travis challenges. 

“Nolan needs you and look how you’re acting,” Claude snaps. “That shut you up?”

 

Travis closes his mouth. He’s embarrassed. He swallows and backs up a little. Too stubborn to apologize or anything. But he does back off. That stings. 

 

“I’m sorry, Trav. But it was the only thing that I could think of to make you shut up,” Claude gives him a little tight smile.

“Yeah.” 

“Trav,” Claude sighs. “Come on. Sit back down.”

Travis shrugs, “I’m fine.”

 

Travis feels helpless. He can’t do anything to help Nolan. He isn’t even with Nolan right now, when Nolan needs him the most. And now he’s making it about himself. 

 

“I need to go for a walk or something,” Travis mumbles, standing up straight and heading for the door. 

As he’s leaving, he sees a doctor coming into the waiting room, so he goes back to Claude and Danny, on the off chance that it’s Nolan’s. 

It isn’t Nolan’s doctor, but Travis doesn’t try to leave again. He doesn’t want to be alone right now. 

 

About 20 minutes later, Travis’ coffee is gone, he’s laying in Claude’s lap, and his patience is running thin. 

He smirks to himself. He needs patience right now. Nolan  _ is _ a patient right now. 

He’s going crazy.

 

“Hi, are you with Mr. Patrick?” A doctor asks the 3 of them.  

Travis sits up immediately. “Yes! Yeah, is he.. How is he?” 

“He’s stable.”

 

Is that really all the doctor is going to give him?  _ Stable _ ?! What about results? Or telling him what the fuck is wrong with his boyfriend?!

 

“Okay…” Claude prompts the doctor. 

“It wasn’t a stroke, nor was it anything more intense than a brain injury. It’s just a bad concussion. The symptoms he had were because of the way his head was hit, and where it was hit. There is no long term damage, nor is there anything more to diagnose him with. All we can do now is give him pain medicine and treat him for a concussion and wait and ride the concussion out.”

“How long will that take?” Travis asks. 

“Every head injury is different, there’s no way to put a set timeline on it. But I would say a good month or two.”

 

Travis’ heart sinks. Nolan doesn’t have that kind of time to be sitting on the sidelines. He can’t handle that. 

 

“The only thing I am worried about,” the doctor continues. “Is possible post-concussion syndrome from this, especially because he has had brain injuries in the past.”

 

Travis grabs Claude’s hand because that sounds scary. 

 

“What would that mean?” Travis finds it in him to ask. 

“Short term memory issues, issues with his memory in general like recalling past events. Migraines and headaches. Sensitivity to light and sound.”

Travis nods, not really knowing what to say. Except, “Can I see him?”

The doctor smiles at Travis and nods. “I’ll take you back to his room. He has pain and anxiety medicine in a drip right now, he’s been in and out all night. Just remember to keep your voice down.”

Travis nods, following the doctor dutifully. 

 

When he gets to Nolan’s room, he doesn’t quite look right. Like, that’s Travis’ Nolan. But there’s something off. It makes Travis’ stomach turn. 

He goes to Nolan’s side, gently stroking a finger down his face. Just to remind him that that is Nolan, that he’s real and okay and right there. 

 

“Hey Nols,” Travis whispers. He knows Nolan’s asleep, but he thinks they both need this. “I love you. Okay? I know you’re in pain and this sucks, but I’m right here.”

Travis kisses Nolan’s cheek lightly before sitting back and just watching him breathe steadily for a while. 

 

He isn’t sure when he fell asleep, but he wakes up to Nolan poking at him. 

 

“Mmm?” Travis sits up and blinks awake. “Oh shit, Nols. Hey.”

Nolan chuckles. He looks tired and pale, but his eyes crinkle up like they usually do. That’s a start. 

“When did you wake up?” 

“Just now,” He mumbles. Travis knows that’s not a concussion symptom, he just fucking mumbles all the damn time. “You were asleep. I got bored.”

Travis rolls his eyes, but smiles. “How’re you feeling?” 

He shrugs one shoulder. “Like I have a traumatic brain injury.”

“Nols,” Travis starts, chuckling a little. He gently lifts his hand to stroke Nolan’s cheek. “Need me to get a nurse?” 

Nolan closes his eyes, leaning into the touch. “Not quite yet. Wanna just be here with you.”

“Okay, my sweet boy. But let me know if the pain becomes too much,” Travis rubs his thumb over Nolan’s cheek. It isn’t as rosy as it usually is. Travis knows that’s normal, but it still makes his stomach twist a little.

“It’s more like an underlying pain. You know?” 

Travis sighs a little, “I can’t say I do, Nols. I’ve had concussions before but none like this…”

Nolan reaches up and holds onto Travis’ wrist. “I’m sorry.”

“Shh, no. You didn’t mean for this to happen.”

Nolan closes his eyes, “Yeah.”

“Think you’re gonna fall back to sleep?” 

Nolan shrugs, “Don’t think I can.”

“Pain?”

He nods the slightest bit. “I wanna go home.”

“I don’t know if we can do that quite yet, but uh… I can try and find out.”

“Don’t leave me.”

“I won’t.” 

 

They stay like that for a while, just sitting in silence. Travis rubbing Nolan’s cheek, playing with the tips of his hair. 

Once he thinks Nolan’s fallen back to sleep, he goes to get a nurse. But as he gets up, a hand grabs his wrist.

 

“Wait, where are you going?” Nolan slurs, half asleep.

“Just to grab Claude and update him.”

“Clo’s here?” 

“Yeah,” Travis smiles gently. “He’s been here. Danny, too.”

“Oh. Cool.”

“Cool,” Travis parrots, smiling a bit. 

  
  


Nolan is able to leave the next morning, getting discharged as soon as he’s stable.

 

“I’m hungry,” Nolan whines, leaning into Travis’ side. 

“I know bud, you’ve been saying that for the past hour.”

“Jell-o isn’t real food!” Nolan exclaims, before wincing at himself.

“Careful,” Travis rubs his back a little. “I know. We’ll get you some food.”

 

“Hey, how about Claude and I get you guys Wawa. That way you don’t have to stop, Nolan can get his meds in him, and you can get breakfast easily..”

Travis is about to protest, say that they’ve already done too much for them. But Nolan has other ideas.

“Yes! Please? That sounds so good.”

Travis rolls his eyes but kisses Nolan’s cheek. “If you guys really don’t mind…”

“We’re happy to help.”

  
  


Nolan lays down on the couch as soon as they get back to their apartment. Danny and Claude arrive with Wawa not long after but leave before they eat because Nolan’s in too much pain to handle so much.

 

Travis has him take his medicine first but makes him eat after. It takes Nolan about an hour to finish half his breakfast sandwich. 

 

“You’re doing really great,” Travis keeps telling him. 

Nolan keeps telling him that, “a bite every few minutes isn’t ‘great’.”

Agree to disagree.

 

“Do you want me to help you up to bed?” 

“No, wanna stay here. Comfy,” he smiles to himself, eyes closed. 

“Okay,” Travis rubs his leg. “I’ll be here.”

  
  


And Travis is there. For everything. All of the bad nights where Nolan wakes up in pain. All of the time Nolan has to sit down and close his eyes because he’s dizzy. All of the follow-up appointments. 

But he’s also there for the good parts. When Nolan laughs and lets his voice get a little too loud, but it doesn’t bother his head. When Nolan wants to play video games and can actually handle it. When Nolan gradually is able to start working out and skating again.

 

It’s never easy, for either of them. But they have each other, and that helps them get through it. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to ellie and calu and ria who helped me find motivation, who read and left me gentle comments along the way, and who are just always there to support my writing!
> 
> title from the song "In my veins" by Andrew Belle

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if I missed anything that needs to be tagged. 
> 
>  
> 
> Title from Who's Gonna Carry You Home by Elder Brother 
> 
> come talk to me about hockeys!  
> tumblr: travlskonecny


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